Front Page
Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, discussing, and rating aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.
Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities, their ratings, and how new they are to the collection:
tiny.ag/dlefcimh · ★★☆☆ Fair (589 ratings) · submitted 1997
Comedy is tragedy plus time.
tiny.ag/sq9g8eav · ★★☆☆ Fair (3330 ratings) · submitted 1997
tiny.ag/jx4okg6p · ★★☆☆ Fair (1050 ratings) · submitted 1999 by Michael A. Loduha
When skunks duel, wind direction is everything.
Michael A. Loduha, (on environmental factors in legal cases vs. the attorneys' skills; from a lecture series), in Law and Politics
tiny.ag/e87wmjqg · ★★☆☆ Fair (558 ratings) · submitted 1997
The end of the human race will be that it will eventually die of civilization.
tiny.ag/i5ba47dl · ★★☆☆ Fair (478 ratings) · submitted 1997
It gets late early out there.
Yogi Berra, (on Yankee Stadium in the fall), in Work and Recreation
tiny.ag/w4pngtxm · ★★☆☆ Fair (1364 ratings) · submitted 1999 by Ron Leemans
Leemans' Law: Junk expands to fill the space allotted.
tiny.ag/czhkruer · ★★☆☆ Fair (504 ratings) · submitted 1997
Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.
tiny.ag/rxe07t5e · ★★☆☆ Fair (506 ratings) · submitted 1997
Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand.
tiny.ag/f6aon4ji · ★★☆☆ Fair (1099 ratings) · submitted 1998
Never try to out-stubborn a cat.
Robert A. Heinlein, The Notebooks of Lazarus Long, in Success and Failure
tiny.ag/iqolobqc · ★★☆☆ Fair (435 ratings) · submitted 1997
In order to preserve your self-respect, it is sometimes necessary to lie and cheat.
tiny.ag/pizd3ywt · ★★☆☆ Fair (473 ratings) · submitted 1997
I hate quotations.
tiny.ag/ufko7fwv · ★★☆☆ Fair (3086 ratings) · submitted 1997
I do not know myself and God forbid that I should.
tiny.ag/tcyzf8gu · ★★☆☆ Fair (1560 ratings) · submitted 1999 by David Knight
An expert is someone who is one page ahead of you in the manual.
tiny.ag/pxnbu4ey · ★★☆☆ Fair (820 ratings) · submitted 1997
A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke.
tiny.ag/ig3zfjp4 · ★★☆☆ Fair (484 ratings) · submitted 1997
The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.
tiny.ag/yzqij6mr · ★★☆☆ Fair (766 ratings) · submitted 1997
I've never met a healthy person who worried much about his health or a good person who worried much about his soul.
Haldane, in Vice and Virtue and Vice and Virtue
tiny.ag/la65dtiv · ★★☆☆ Fair (1022 ratings) · submitted 1998
It was involuntary. They sank my boat.
John F. Kennedy, (comment when asked about his heroism), in War and Peace
tiny.ag/8dgit6e3 · ★★☆☆ Fair (1198 ratings) · submitted 1997
Imagination, not invention, is the supreme master of art as of life.
tiny.ag/950guyxd · ★★☆☆ Fair (479 ratings) · submitted 1997
I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.
tiny.ag/nvfl7j9k · ★★☆☆ Fair (522 ratings) · submitted 1997
Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats.