Aphorisms Galore!

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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, discussing, and rating aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.

Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities, their ratings, and how new they are to the collection:

tiny.ag/dlefcimh  ·   Fair (589 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Comedy is tragedy plus time.

Carol Burnett, in Happiness and Misery

tiny.ag/sq9g8eav  ·   Fair (3330 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Dune (paperback)

Kindness is the beginning of cruelty.

Frank Herbert, Dune, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/jx4okg6p  ·   Fair (1050 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999 by Michael A. Loduha

When skunks duel, wind direction is everything.

Michael A. Loduha, (on environmental factors in legal cases vs. the attorneys' skills; from a lecture series), in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/e87wmjqg  ·   Fair (558 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The end of the human race will be that it will eventually die of civilization.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, in War and Peace

tiny.ag/i5ba47dl  ·   Fair (478 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

It gets late early out there.

Yogi Berra, (on Yankee Stadium in the fall), in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/w4pngtxm  ·   Fair (1364 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999 by Ron Leemans

Leemans' Law: Junk expands to fill the space allotted.

Ron Leemans, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/czhkruer  ·   Fair (504 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

Robert Orben, in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/rxe07t5e  ·   Fair (506 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand.

Benny Hill, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/f6aon4ji  ·   Fair (1099 ratings)  ·  submitted 1998

Never try to out-stubborn a cat.

Robert A. Heinlein, The Notebooks of Lazarus Long, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/iqolobqc  ·   Fair (435 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

In order to preserve your self-respect, it is sometimes necessary to lie and cheat.

Robert Byrne, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/pizd3ywt  ·   Fair (473 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

tiny.ag/ufko7fwv  ·   Fair (3086 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I do not know myself and God forbid that I should.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/tcyzf8gu  ·   Fair (1560 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999 by David Knight

An expert is someone who is one page ahead of you in the manual.

David Knight, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/pxnbu4ey  ·   Fair (820 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke.

Rudyard Kipling, in Men and Women and Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/ig3zfjp4  ·   Fair (484 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

Winston Churchill, in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/yzqij6mr  ·   Fair (766 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I've never met a healthy person who worried much about his health or a good person who worried much about his soul.

Haldane, in Vice and Virtue and Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/la65dtiv  ·   Fair (1022 ratings)  ·  submitted 1998

It was involuntary. They sank my boat.

John F. Kennedy, (comment when asked about his heroism), in War and Peace

tiny.ag/8dgit6e3  ·   Fair (1198 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Imagination, not invention, is the supreme master of art as of life.

Joseph Conrad, in Art and Literature

tiny.ag/950guyxd  ·   Fair (479 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.

Winston Churchill, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/nvfl7j9k  ·   Fair (522 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats.

Howard Aiken, in Success and Failure