Aphorisms Galore!

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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, discussing, and rating aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.

Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities, their ratings, and how new they are to the collection:

tiny.ag/ucas5skv  ·   Fair (1249 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Life is the childhood of our immortality.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/kgnpd9wc  ·   Fair (384 ratings)  ·  submitted 1998

Even thinking is participation.

Lassi Kämäri, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/64hrko9k  ·   Fair (1211 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man.

Thomas Jefferson, in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/ndscvllq  ·   Fair (339 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Positive anything is better than negative nothing.

Elbert Hubbard, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/bpu9tj3d  ·   Fair (296 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.

Abraham Lincoln, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/36xg9wvl  ·   Fair (374 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing.

Nicholas Murray Butler, in Science and Religion and Success and Failure

tiny.ag/kl7xzzq3  ·   Fair (1039 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

An eye for an eye would make the whole world blind.

Mahatma Gandhi, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/o5og0ube  ·   Fair (692 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

A diet is when you watch what you eat and wish you could eat what you watch.

Hermione Gingold, in Food and Drink

tiny.ag/yefighwf  ·   Fair (1461 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

Robert A. Heinlein, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/rxe07t5e  ·   Fair (506 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand.

Benny Hill, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/bqie1hj5  ·   Fair (651 ratings)  ·  submitted 1998

An aphorism is not an aphorism unless you know what it means.

Winston Churchill, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/vfmz7cvr  ·   Fair (388 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

If you want a high performance woman, I can go from zero to bitch in less than 2.1 seconds.

Krystal Ann Kraus, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/gu6tloek  ·   Fair (298 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought.

Simon Cameron, in Altruism and Cynicism and Law and Politics

tiny.ag/nvfl7j9k  ·   Fair (522 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats.

Howard Aiken, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/2ohv3gf8  ·   Fair (403 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, in Success and Failure and Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/hobsgyde  ·   Fair (343 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Why be a man when you can be a success?

Bertolt Brecht, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/ikcjtldg  ·   Fair (451 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

A celebrity is a person who is known for his well-knownness.

Daniel Boorstin, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/7graufwl  ·   Fair (1408 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.

Mahatma Gandhi, in Law and Politics and Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/ixcdrxvs  ·   Fair (249 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The covers of this book are too far apart.

Ambrose Bierce, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/8d5pktgj  ·   Fair (491 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

A continuing flow of paper is sufficient to continue the flow of paper.

Dyer, Dyer's Law, in Work and Recreation