Altruism and Cynicism

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

Groucho Marx, in Altruism and Cynicism

I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member.

Groucho Marx, in Altruism and Cynicism

Be polite to all, but intimate with few.

Thomas Jefferson, in Altruism and Cynicism

In nature, there are neither rewards nor punishments -- there are consequences.

Robert G. Ingersoll, in Altruism and Cynicism

Whatever is not nailed down is mine. What I can pry loose is not nailed down.

Collis P. Huntington, in Altruism and Cynicism

Never insult an alligator until after you have crossed the river.

Cordel Hull, in Altruism and Cynicism

If a feller says, "It's not the money, it's the principle of the thing," it's the money.

Elbert Hubbard, in Altruism and Cynicism

An enemy is anyone who tells the truth about you.

Elbert Hubbard, in Altruism and Cynicism

No man would listen to you talk if he didn't know it was his turn next.

E. W. Howe, in Altruism and Cynicism

There's a fine line between participation and mockery.

Scott Adams, in Altruism and Cynicism

Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.

Abraham Lincoln, in Altruism and Cynicism

Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.

Ann Landers, in Altruism and Cynicism

If it looks like shit, smells like shit, mail it to your enemy -- he'll know what to do with it.

Doug Horton, in Altruism and Cynicism

By means of shrewd lies, unremittingly repeated, it is possible to make people believe that heaven is hell -- and hell heaven. The greater the lie, the more readily it will be believed.

Adolf Hitler, Mein Kampf, in Altruism and Cynicism

Buying a lie is one thing, giving it away for free is quite another.

Doug Horton, in Altruism and Cynicism

Beauty is variable, ugliness is constant.

Doug Horton, in Altruism and Cynicism

Be your own hero, it's cheaper than a movie ticket.

Doug Horton, in Altruism and Cynicism

I use emotion for the many and reserve reason for the few.

Adolf Hitler, in Altruism and Cynicism

Boring people are a reflection of boring people.

Doug Horton, in Altruism and Cynicism

Every calling is great when greatly pursued.

Oliver Wendell Holmes, in Altruism and Cynicism